"The Thoughts of a Queen... 💜"
Growing up as a young girl, teenager, and even a young adult, I had no idea the importance of my womb. All I knew is that I could get pregnant and that I could get HIV and other sexually transmitted disease's from having unprotected sex. I was unaware of how to properly care for my womb and I will get into supporting details shortly, but first, allow me to educate you briefly about your womb.
Your womb is the entire region of your reproductive organs, not only your vagina.
For thousands of years, women have healed their wombs using natural methods as a means of healing other areas of their lives also. Womb healing is a form of self-care that all women should be practicing in order to become her best self! When you heal your womb, you're tapping into a deeper YOU. Pain can be passed down through the womb from generation to generation. When you heal your womb, you heal all wombs that come after you as well.You're more intuitive, you're able to heal from your past, you become more creative and driven, you are more sensual and loving, etc! These are all POSITIVE changes that I'm here to help you achieve. Healing your womb not only provides you with the means of becoming a better woman, but you may also heal from old sexual trauma's, STD's, release energy from past relationships from your womb, healing from physical trauma's, and obtaining a deeper level of love for yourself. The list of benefits goes on! (But you get the point. It's GREAT for you)!
Now that you know the importance of healing your womb and how it can positively affect other factors of your life, it's time for some transparency on my behalf. I grew up with both of my parents present in my life. While my father was present in my life, he was also the sole provider for our family, so a lot of much needed "family time" was sacrificed so that he could provide for us. My father was very active in my life, but as I grew older, the quality time that we spent together diminished tremendously and I believe that this was the time when I needed his love and guidance the most. My mother was the best mother she possibly could have been to me as a young girl. She taught me how to be a woman by leading by example with her own actions. Of course she taught me to use condoms when I had sex. She taught me that throughout my adolescence up into adulthood! I had both of my parents in my life who loved me, yet I still lacked the ultimate love. SELF-LOVE.
I grew up bullied, told I was ugly consistently, teased for being tall, dark skinned, having large hands and feet and being a girl, not having the latest fashion, being smart, not having money, wearing glasses, and sometimes I was bullied for just existing. Naturally, I never learned to love myself being surrounded by so many hateful spirits. I didn’t have anyone teaching me that I was beautiful despite my flaws, so I began believing what my enemies had conditioned me into thinking. I thought I was ugly and unworthy since I didn't have the body features of girls who the boys gave their attention to. I longed for love, affection, and to feel beautiful and accepted, but I did not know what I was missing at the time, so I couldn't have possibly fixed it. I searched for love and affection in the wrong places and by doing the wrong things hoping to find it. Like most women do, I started my quest for what was missing within myself with.... men. Once I graduated high school, I had freedom that I didn't have previously, and I definitely mishandled it. I lost my virginity the first week of college to a guy who only cared about racking up the number of women he could sleep with. I "fell in love" (so I thought) for the first time and I left that relationship with a broken heart, broken spirit, broken self-image, and chlamydia. I never thought I would get an STD, especially since I wasn't being a slut and I thought I was having responsible sex with a committed partner *laughs hysterically at my vulnerability*. This completely distorted my self-image. I hated every inch of myself for allowing myself to be in that position. I felt so embarrassed and defeated. I for sure felt like damaged goods...... and I felt more unworthy than I ever had before. I didn't know anyone else who had experienced an STD before. I wished I had someone who had experienced it before to coach me through the pain and to Fix my Crown, because it was definitely shattered to pieces.
But back to the STD discovery...
I had been experiencing HORRIBLE Period cramps, but no one ever taught us the side effects of an STD, so I didn't think too much into those cramps.. I thought they were period cramps that had worsened, since periods are known to change over time. I also could not eat a thing. I had absolutely no appetite FOR MONTHS. I remember how disappointed I used to become after walking back to my dorm from Chick-Fil-A with my 8 count nugget combo just to take ONE BITE out of a nugget (One. Bite.) and immediately feel extremely full. I was STARVING, but it was impossible to force myself to eat. I lost 40-50 pounds over the course of that time. I'm not sure why I didn't just trust my instinct and go to the doctor. Well, 7 months passed and those horrible cramps became a daily factor to the point I’d be in bed, balled up, and in tears. I remember walking across the college campus to class one day and nearly passing out because I was so weak and cramping so bad. My periods used to be deadly while my womb was infected. Between the extremely excruciating cramps and the heavy bleeding and large blood clots, I never had energy. Those cramps are on the top of the list of one of the worst pains I've ever experienced in my life. Imagine feeling like your insides are constantly being ripped apart. Sharp cramps, ripping pain, and weakness all at once is a lot to deal with. It was a terrible experience, but I thank God my mother made the appointment for me, and I was treated.
I wish the doctors could have treated the mental distress that was caused from this man's manipulative demeanor, and this STD. While I was cured from the disease with a single dose of antibiotics, I fell into a deeper depression due to the mental warfare that it caused. As I mentioned, my self-image had been completely distorted. I didn't know myself at all when I looked in the mirror. I convinced myself that I was unworthy of anything good, because I had been acquainted with an STD and no man would want a woman who had been "burned" before.
My lack of self confidence caused me to forget about my morals and values. I began sleeping around with male friends (who should've remained male friends). I tried forcing relationships that were clearly not working. I tried to prove my worthiness to men by giving them my womb, when NONE OF THEM DESERVED ME. I tried having sex to avoid feeling the pain from my mistakes. I was attempting to fill a void. I eventually allowed new men to come into my life who also meant me no good. For 3 years, I gave my womb to men who were committed to being blind to seeing my true worth. I was tired of handing men a pair of glasses, so right before my 21st birthday, I was FED UP with who I had been dealing with and I vowed that I would cut them off and do good by my damn self. I prayed for the strength to cut ties with them since they clearly didn’t see or appreciate ME, only what I offered them. I met my husband on my 21st birthday, and it was GAME OVER for the other men in my life once he made his appearance. #ManifestDestiny
Our connection was strong from the day we met. He says he knew I was going to be his wife, and I low key knew he’d be my husband since I had never been valued like he valued me before! We began trying to conceive in November of 2015. Negative pregnancy test ...after negative pregnancy test... after negative pregnancy test .... it caused concern and also caused me to fall into a deeper depression than I'd ever experienced before. I felt like the ultimate failure. Here I was, a woman who couldn't give my man a baby all because I crossed paths with the wrong guy in my past. When I discovered we were experiencing infertility, I felt all the same emotions that I felt when I got the STD, only intensified. I was embarrassed, I felt like less of a woman, useless, damaged goods, a burden, and it was very hard to discuss this issue... I thank God that my husband has always accepted me as I am and he's never made me feel like less of a woman and he's never lost faith that we will have our own family one day. The pain used to cut so deep that I hated when women would constantly ask me when we were having a baby, as if we weren’t trying extremely hard to. No unhealed woman wants to discuss this sensitive topic with a stranger. Be mindful when asking women questions such as this. You never know what people are experiencing! I really wished women would mind their business, because it was a major slap in the face every time a woman would continue prying and telling me we needed to have a baby and I had a negative pregnancy test sitting in the trash at my home along with tear filled tissues and another piece of my heart. I knew that I probably had scar tissue in my womb and blockage in my Fallopian tubes from the chlamydia wreaking havoc inside my womb for 7 months.
I can admit that I've probably lost my faith during this journey a million times now. I've felt every emotion you can possibly feel as a woman who has issues with conceiving. I've cried in my husband's arms, cried in the shower, cried at work, felt hopeless, and nearly killed myself trying to do everything in my power to conceive. I knew that I had to heal myself since I had found my life companion, because the men who I allowed inside of me in the past caused my PH balance to be so thrown off that I had constant infections on top of my other issues. This is when I discovered Yoni Pearls. I probably read every article out there on Yoni Pearls and watched every available video on Youtube in 2016. I purchased them about a week into my research! The Pearls helped balance my vaginal PH level, relieved me of those horrible infections, provided additional tightening, helped me expel tissues and yeast, and cleansed my womb from energy of the past.
A year later, my period started coming later each month and the pregnancy tests kept saying not pregnant. What a shot to my heart AGAIN. Well, turns out I definitely wasn't pregnant, I had developed Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome! :( Great? another roadblock preventing us from conceiving. WHY ME? was a question I asked daily, with tears in my eyes. I felt like I was the only woman going through this.....................
My period eventually stopped coming all together, which is also one of the symptoms of PCOS (along with infertility). This is when I discovered Yoni Steaming. I quickly jumped on it once I did my research! I began steaming to bring my period back naturally, because I was offered Birth Control to start my period, which was out of the question. Besides the unhealthy side effects, I still did not want to take birth control for my body to do what it was made to do naturally. I also was not going to take birth control, because I was still actively trying to conceive and I didn't need another factor in my life that was going to prevent our goal. I opted into steaming my vagina once a month, and it brought my period back, but it was black, smelly, and PAINFUL. It was still a bit inconsistent. Sometimes I'd get one and other times It'd skip a month. My doctor informed me that I could develop Uterine Cancer from the lining not being released monthly, so I began steaming three times weekly and true enough, my period became bright red blood, one day shorter, and it has been regular every since. I have discovered a lot about myself since I have allowed myself the time to step back into myself and observe the reasons behind the decisions that I've made in the past. I've been healing my womb and healing my entire life and thought process by doing so. My journey has placed me on the path to heal women around the world, and I have accepted my calling.
Of course, I still want to be a mommy, and I know that I'll be blessed with my little one soon, but if not, I'll be fine with that too. I've hurt for long enough, so I've recently released all depressive and negative emotions related to this subject and I changed the narrative of my story. I had to experience what I did so I could walk down this path today. That’s the reason WHY it had to be me. I probably would have never been exposed to Yoni Care practices or womb healing, had I never experienced what I did! I believe that I had to go through the pain and the mistakes in order to educate, prevent, and heal accordingly. I plan to prevent other women and young girls from making the same mistakes that I did by sharing my story and being as open as I possibly can. I am no longer embarrassed about my story and I will continue to heal my womb naturally and help women heal theirs by educating them as well as providing safe products to do so. I've changed my perspective and I've had tunnel vision for women's empowerment ever since!
In May of 2020, I made myself a few pair of Waist Beads and this is where Goddess Bae began. I posted them on Facebook and got a large response from other women who wanted them! We launched our Yoni Steam a few weeks later, which led to us adding our Crystal Infused Energy Healing Yoni Oil, and then our Yoni Pearls! I got the name "Goddess Bae" from, well.. EVERYONE who's associated with my husband calls me "Bae." He does NOT call me by my name, to anyone lol so naturally they began calling me "bae" as well and it's sort of like a second nickname for me. I am a Goddess and I am Bae.
Goddess Bae is more than just my job. It is my way of leaving my imprint on this world and helping people heal and get through the challenges of life. You are NOT alone. I will continue to assist women in healing their bodies naturally with our products, while continuing to heal my own simultaneously.
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